90’s Music Superlatives Part 1/4

Anybody that know me knows I’m all about the 90’s music. So here I go. The best of the best of the best of 90’s music. I have over 350 songs in my 90’s playlist and probably about 100 artists. I love it all: pop, rap, R&B, rock, especially alternative, and even some country. Some of these you will disagree with. Some of these I disagree with, but I put the band in there because I feel that it is worth mentioning. Here we go.

Best Pop Band: Ace of Base

Starting off with probably the one that people will disagree with the most is the Best Pop Band. Not Backstreet Boys, not *NSYNC, not any other but Ace of Base. I pick them for one reason: pure catchiness. To me that’s what a pop band is all about. Their songs are catchy, but also amazingly meaningful and deep. And they’re Swedish. Here’s one of my favorites, All That She Wants.

Best R&B Group: TLC

TLC had something going. Before Lisa (Left-Eye) Lopes burnt down NFL star Andre Risen’s house and died in a car crash,  they were on top of the world. Lisa wrote numerous TLC classics including Waterfalls and No Scrubs. To this day, everyone knows that a scrub is a sleazy guy, and Left-Eye coined the phrase.

Best Angry Woman: Alanis Morissette

I’m scared of her. Every guy should be. Alanis puts every breath she has into every note and because of it I’m terrified of her. Here’s arguably her angriest song, You Oughta Know.

Best “What the Hell is This?” Song: Baha Men – Who Let The Dogs Out

No explanation can be made for why this song was a hit. To this day it’s still played at numerous sports arenas. Take a catchy Jamaican beat and a nuts question that nobody has had the answer to for over ten years, and there you have it: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

Best “Still Got It” Band: Beastie Boys

So many bands can be here, but I think the band that stays truer to original form is the Beastie Boys. Bursting onto the scene with Fight For Your Right, then solidifying there place with Sabotage, we knew they were going to be around for awhile. Their most recent lyrical album, “To the 5 Buroughs” is an amazing CD, and as soon as MCA gets done with chemotherapy they are releasing another.

Best Use of Uncommon Musical Instrument: Blues Traveler’s Harmonica

I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the harmonica, and it’s mostly because of Blues Traveler. This very large man just kills the solo in Hook.

Most Popular Artist: Britney Spears

No question on my mind. She’s been in the tabloids constantly for almost 15 years. Whether she’s going to rehab, shaving her head, getting married (for a few hours) in Vegas, or dominating the charts, she’s there. It’s all because of …Baby One More Time. Probably one of the most famous videos of all time. Everyone can picture the pigtails.

Best Obscure Music: Cake.

They’re awesome. I’ll just give you some lyrics:

Can cut you from their bloated budgets like sharpened knives through chicken McNuggets.

I want a girl with uninterrupted prosperity Who uses a machetti to cut  trough red tape.

That’s just pure genius, as is my favorite Cake song: Never There.

Honorable Mention: Fatboy Slim – The Rockafellar Skank.

Best Diva: Celine Dion

Her songs are just magic. From making me ball every time I hear the Titanic song to Because You Loved Me, this Canadian can get it done.

Best Use of Odd Vocals: The Cranberries

Pride of Ireland, The Cranberries can do it all. From Linger to Dreams and Zombie, their talent is on display always. The chorus of Zombie is where I get the odd vocals idea. Who thinks of singing like that?

Best Lame Ass White Rap Group: Crazy Town

Butterfly. I love this song, but I can’t watch the video without laughing at how lame all these guys are.

Best Band for Grade School Dances: K-Ci & JoJo

All My Life makes me think of slow dances and just the absolute uncertainty on how close I can get to touching a girl’s booty during them. Oh gotta love those awkward times.

Best Christian Band: Creed

I admit it. I liked them. Now they are probably the funnest band to make fun of behind Nickleback, but Higher was my jam.

Best R&B Song: Say My Name – Destiny’s Child

Maybe the best song of the 90’s. I remember this song was big on the countdown for a little bit, then it disappeared, only to just absolutely explode everywhere. One of the oddest verses with all the stops and starts, which makes it amazing. Great video with all the colors too.

Best Use of Profanities: Eamon – Fuck It

I’ve never had a bad break up, but if I had, this song would be the most played on my iTunes. Just a sad angry dude yelling about a girl. Gotta love it.

Best Song About a Color: Eiffel 65 – Blue

Heard this song at a club in Dublin this summer, and it was amazing still. Kinda like “Who let the dogs out?” in that it just baffles me how this song was every popular. But I’m so glad it was, cus it’s awesome.

So there’s part 1 of my picks for the best of 90’s music.

Agree or not (you probably don’t), that is what I think I think.

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