Wishing Everybody a Happy Festivus

I wrote this poem for Christmas last year and put it on my now deleted Facebook fan page. Anyone who knows me well knows I am obsessed with Seinfeld. Festivus is the fictional holiday made up by George Costanza’s dad in the show. I think I do a pretty good job in describing the holiday.  Hope you enjoy! Happy Festivus!

This story is of, holiday and family alike
From the great Seinfeld episode, entitled “The Strike.”

Festivus Miracle
by: David Landwehr

‘Twas the night before Christmas Eve, and all through the house
The walls were shaking, much more than a mouse

The stockings weren’t hung by the chimney with care
Beating his chest was young George, stomach all bare

“Feats of Strength!” yelled Frank, charging is son
George stood defenseless, unable to run

On tackle! On Punch! On mighty slap!
It looks as though, George’s neck might snap!

Part of Festivus it’s called, the Costanzas fight
Only when one’s pinned, can we end the night

The holiday begun long ago, Father Frank in a store
Looking for a doll, one young George can adore

Frank and another, reached in sync
It turned to fighting, within but a blink

“There must be another way”, Frank Costanza proclaims
“For us to have Christmas, without all these games.”

“Religion, commercialism, all I despise”
“A new holiday I’ll invent! A pole I’ll arise!”

The grievances are finished, the airing complete.
Frank told George’s boss, “Your company stinks”

There is a dinner, the feast is prepared
Kramer, “Dr. Van Nostrand”, also was there

The holiday of Festivus this is, for all who come.
No gifts, no santa, no drummer, no drum.

There is no tree, the tinsel unsettled
In its place, is a pole made of metal

No religion, no gifts, none of that is for me
Only through festivus, will we be happy.

From then on it was Festivus, the Costanza’s delight.


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